


When Poetry Fails

by Wix



Category: Doctor Strange (Comics), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Hinted One-Sided Steve/Tony, M/M, Moving On, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Canon Compliant, One-Sided Attraction, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sokovia Accords, not team Cap friendly, references to other relationships - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-30 21:11:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18322112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wix/pseuds/Wix
Summary: There was once a time when he was constantly chasing them, now he would like nothing more than for them to leave him alone. In the aftermath of the Civil War and the Sokovia Accords the Rogue Avengers return and Tony realizes that there's a family waiting for him - but it's not the one that left him behind.





	When Poetry Fails

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Sorry about the hiatus. Things have been really chaotic on this side of the computer screen. I had some time today and I typed this up for you all! I hope you enjoy it!

He does have to admit to himself that he does find it a little funny how quickly the tables turn.

There was once a time, not so long ago, when it didn’t matter what he did or what he gave or what he suffered for them – he could never get their attention to linger on him for even five minutes. Now though? Now he can’t seem to avoid them for five whole minutes at a time.

T’Challa held to his promise to Barnes, a promise that apparently asked that the King soothe over the worlds angry hurt and fear and get Rogers his squeaky clean record back since he ‘did it all for me’ and for some reason that was enough of a reason to bury the pain of dozens upon dozens of individuals who now had to see Rogers and his group return with open arms.

Well, open arms sans Tony. He’s learned his lesson at this point. Kick a dog so many times eventually it’ll cringe away at the mere sight of you. That’s all Tony figures he feels now when it comes to these posers playacting as heroes. Once burned twice shy and all that. Although the proper metaphor would probably be closer to ‘set on fire a thousand times and has finally learned to fear the flame’.

The only kindness that Tony thinks they’ve granted him – the only one – is that Barnes is not walking up and down the halls of the Avengers Compound. After all, Tony doesn’t own the rights anymore having sold it off to the Accords but granted, Tony knows that’s because of Barnes and not because of any of them. Rogers wanted him here, but he opted to stay in Wakanda for an indeterminate amount of time.

Tony wonders if Steve thought that it would be fine just rubbing Barnes in Tony’s face like he rubbed Wanda. Salt in the wound with that big smile and those blue eyes as he says ‘They’re sorry – they’ve learned – they’re victims too – why do you need to make this about you Tony? – Don’t they deserve a second chance?’ Tony wouldn’t be surprised if he did thing it’d work, it worked the first time after all with Wanda, why not try a working system with Barnes?

_“Why don’t you just quit?” Pepper asks and he loves her, he does – so much that it hurts sometimes…but she doesn’t get it. She’ll never get it and Tony knows that. He knows that’s what did them in long ago, it just took them too long to see it._

_“Because Peter needs a safe place. Vision needs a safe place. Whoever comes next needs a safe place and I need to help them. I’m not bowing out because of a few bad apples. You know me Pep, I never have before and I’m not starting now.”_

Tony’s nothing if he’s not a futurist and no one is going to pry the hope he has in the future from him. Not even from his cold, dead hands no matter how hard they might try.

And oh have they tried.

However, Tony can admit to his own hand in all this destruction despite common belief. He knows that he got distracted. He got mixed up and turned around somewhere and he started thinking that the thing he believed in, the thing he needed to protect and help grow was the Avengers _Team_ and not The Avengers Initiative. He got them twisted up in his head as the same thing and he knows now that he shouldn’t have. The things he let them get away with, the things he laid down on the wire for them for, the things he bled and died for…he should have never done it for them, and that’s on him. He’ll own up to that.

Now though, now he’s clear minded and a little more broken hearted and he’s going to do what he should have been doing all along. None of this ‘Together’ bullshit, Rogers talked a good game until you actually stopped to listen to what he was saying.

_“The best hands are still our own.”_

Who decides that? Who has the right to decide that? Rogers believes he does. He believes he has the unilateral right to determine what _is_ right. What’s worse, he won’t change direction and he’s proven that the only card he has in his hands to play is the good old ‘sock Hitler in the jaw’ routine.

Funny how ‘Hitler’ keeps getting replaced with whatever choses to stand against him.

The best hands? Tony doesn’t think one person’s hands could carry that burden but even if he did, he knows without a doubt that it wouldn’t be Steve’s.

After all, how many times does someone need to drop the ball before they realize that they don’t have a grasp on it? How many times does the ball need to shatter before they look at the broken pieces and realize their folly?

Oh wait – they’ll just blame Tony for the broken pieces and just keep marching right along. He forgot there for a moment the usual standard operating procedure in regards to how the Avengers team looked at the damage.

+++

There’s a knock at the conference room door and Tony glances up from the Accords paperwork to see who has decided to bother him this time. He sees Natasha and he inwardly sighs, although he figures he should count his luck that it’s not Rogers.

Although he doesn’t doubt that if he checked the security footage that he’d find them all discussing how sending Natasha in first would be best for everyone. After all she ‘knows him so well, even better than himself’.

What a load of bullshit. She never knew him, she only knew the version of him she wanted to mold him in and she sold everyone else on the mold until they started beating him down to fit it, and then they turned around and beat him down for both being it and not being it.

“We’re going to have a movie night tonight. Steve’s finally ready to see Star Wars.” She says and her voice is oh so friendly and oh so _hopeful_ that Tony knows it’s a lie. A heavy handed one at that. Was it always that way? Had he just been that blind to it eventually?

He figures it’s true. Put the frog in hot water it’ll jump out immediately, slowly turn it up though and it’ll stay till it dies.

“That should be fun. Enjoy it.” Tony says, looking back down at the papers.

“We were hoping you’d be there.” She presses on.

“No thank you, but thanks for offering.” Tony says, figuring he can be polite. They may have never been polite to him or treated him with basic human respect or dignity…but he’s just as much Maria’s son as he is Howard’s. They should thank their lucky stars for that.

“Tony.” She says and her voice is pleading. She steps into the conference room and comes over to him, taking the seat next to him. “Tony please look at me.”

“I’m rather busy at the moment.” Tony says, glancing up at her and she looks so _tortured_. It makes him want to both laugh and sigh. He’s impressed when he manages to do neither.

“Tony please. I know that things have been hard lately…but we’re back. We can fix it all, but you have to be willing to let that happen.”

“Well I’m not.” Tony tells her. “No point in having you dangle on a string or something. I’m not interested in going back and ‘fixing’ anything.”

“Tony.”

“Is there anything else?”

“Don’t be like this.”

“I am who I am.” Tony replies, looking back down at his paperwork. “And that person has no interest in letting you back in. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

“We all made mistakes Tony.” She tries to create a middle ground and Tony doesn’t look up.

“Rhodey didn’t.” He says and in his peripheral he sees her pull back. “Have a good day. Enjoy the movie.” She’s smart enough to leave after that, although he knows she won’t stay gone.

They never seem to do that these days.

+++

“I shouldn’t have said what I said.” Barton catches him getting off the phone when he comes in to deal with the latest ‘team meeting’. Tony doesn’t know fully what Barton wants him to say to that. ‘No you shouldn’t have?’ ‘You’re right it was a dick move?’ ‘Is that supposed to be an apology?’ ‘Do you think this starts to fix anything?’ ‘Do you even mean it?’

In the end, Tony opts not to say anything. He isn’t sure what to say and he’s not going to fuss over it when he has to try to drag these adult sized children into a meeting about things that they’ve never had to deal with before and seem determined to buck back against at every step of the way.

T’Challa’s present, and Tony figures he’s both surprised and not surprised. The King’s new appointment as an Avenger member pretty much throws him in Tony’s path whether or not Tony would want that. That seems to be par for the course these days though, so he just sighs and shrugs and deals with it. As long as T’Challa doesn’t go around crashing bridges and attacking in civilian areas and leaving people to die in frozen wonderlands then Tony figures he’s got no current problems with him.

Vision seems unable to hold Tony’s gaze these days, and Tony knows why. It’s clear as day as the stubborn witch holds his hand on top of the table as she gives Tony a look that Tony figures is her declaring victory on some fight she thought they were having. They weren’t, Vision made it clear long ago that he was not JARVIS and he did not appreciate Tony coming in and attempting to be any kind of father figure to him. He was his own entity, smarter than all of them and yet so naïve in all the true dangers of the world.

One of those dangers which is holding his hand right now and looking at Tony with a sick smirk.

“As leader.” Sam’s voice cuts in when Tony tries to bring the meeting to an end when they’ve gone over everything. “You should be more present. Not just on the field but at training and stuff.”

“I’m only the de facto leader right now until someone is nominated and approved by the Accords Council.” Tony says. “And they have been made aware of my restrictions when it comes to my limits with the Avengers. As such, I’m field leader, but I’m not your team leader. Therefore, I have no reason to be present.”

“We should all be training together Tony.” Steve tells him with those earnest eyes. Tony should have known he was a liar, no one pulled off a look like that with any true sincerity.

“I have other, outside arrangements.” Tony replies to that. “And the Council is aware of this fact. If you wish to have any form of ‘team training’ please feel free. FRIDAY will analyze any changes in your forms and aid me in the field with it should it ever arise.”

“Using FRIDAY isn’t a good substitute for actually learning.” Natasha says and Tony just taps all of his papers together – he needs to get the Council onto digital because this was messy and ridiculous – and he shakes his head.

“This meeting is adjourned.” He tells them and he gets up to leave only to have Steve practically chase after him.

“Tony please, can we talk?” He asks and Tony considers ignoring him, considers a lot of options actually, but he stops and turns to look at him.

“No.” He says firmly. “No we cannot. We are not friends Rogers, not that we ever were. I see that now. I’m not interested in placating you or lifting you up or whatever else it is you want from me. I want to come here and do my job and I want you to do the same. That task does not require that we talk to one another. Not in the way you’re trying to push.”

“Bucky was innocent.” Steve pleads with him, clearly ignoring everything that Tony has said and pushing on. “I’m sorry I lied to you but this? This isn’t right Tony and you know it.”

“I’m not angry that you lied to me Steve.” Tony tells him and Steve gives him a look like he doesn’t believe it. “Truly, I’m not. I’m used to being lied to. No, that’s not what I’m angry about.”

“Then what is it? What can I do?”

“Nothing.” Tony says honestly. “I’m not angry about the lie, it was cruel but it is what it is. I’m angry about what it’s done. I’m angry at all the things I didn’t see before. I’m angry that I can’t trust you anymore. I’m angry that I can’t believe you ever again.”

“Yes, you can Tony.” Steve says as he reaches out and Tony leans back.

“No Steve. I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. I’ve forgiven you.” Steve ‘points out’. “Ultron and all the other secrets you’ve kept. I trust you still.”

“Then I guess you’re a better man than me.” Tony says with an amused smirk. “But then again, you always believed that. Too bad belief isn’t enough to make something true. Neither are empty words.” Tony turns and leaves Steve standing there.

It won’t be the last time they have this argument, of that Tony’s sure, but it’s the end of it for today. Sometimes, that’s all you can do.

+++

“You know…I’m starting to think that I’ve done something to you personally and you’re getting back at me for it.” Tony huffs out with a small chuckle as he lays on his back and Matt in that ridiculous costume leans over him. The smile on the other’s face is far too angelic for Tony to buy it.

“You told me to stop treating you like glass.” Matt ‘reminds’ him and Tony groans.

“Forget that. I’m Ming. So fragile. Handle with care.” Tony says and Matt walks around to be able to offer a hand as he tugs Tony back up to his feet. “Oh, I’m going to be feeling that in the morning.”

“Not if you’d actually do the stretches that Iron Fist told you to.” Matt says and Tony sticks his tongue out at him.

“I’m sticking my tongue out at you if you can’t see it.”

“Oh, I’m aware.” Matt snorts, he pauses with that small little head tilt he does when he’s listening to something Tony can’t hear. “We’re about to have company.”

“Great.” Tony says and a few moments later Steve walks in with Natasha. It’s clear they’re not surprised to see Tony or Daredevil here and Tony’s curious how long before they offer a ‘joint training session’. “Thanks for coming by. I needed to have my ass thrown around the ring like it was going out of style.” Matt gives that silly smile again and he bows as if saying ‘I aim to please’ before he _flips_ out of the ring and just walks off.

Fucking showoff.

Tony laughs to himself as he grabs his towel and his water, crawling out and surprise – not actually – he’s blocked by Steve.

“Tony-”

“If you want the ring, we’re finished with it. Knock yourselves out.” Tony says, trying to slide around Steve and Steve blocks him again. Tony’s prevented from saying anything though because Matt comes over.

“Tony, you said you’d show me the new addendums to the Accords?” He asks and Tony nods – it’s a lie, Tony’s already handed them over to him but inwardly Tony’s grateful.

“Yup. On my way.” He manages to walk past Steve at that point and follows Matt out into the hallway. “Thanks for that.”

“Anytime.” Matt replies easily and Tony doesn’t say how that simple action was more consideration than he’s gotten in over five years of working with the old team. Maybe the inclusion of the Defenders will be a shining light in the Avengers Initiative.

They’re already starting to be a shining light for Tony.

+++

Tony glances at his watch as he heads out of the conference room. He’s running late, he _hates_ running late. He’s going to end up having to end up apologizing to both Happy and Strange for this. Ugh.

Somedays, he wishes that he could just lock Steve and his sycophants out of Council meetings and pre-determinations. Matt and Foggy are going to have an absolute field day when they see what Rogers has offered up and what he’s screwed up for them in the interim with his backdoor calls and ‘maneuverings’.

Maybe Tony should just feed Steve to Hogarth. She’d like that, after all she hates anything that messes up her plans and wastes her time and Steve’s just undone a whole month’s work of changes and addendums in one fucking meeting.

“FRI?”

**_‘Yes Boss?’_ **

“Send Hogarth a nice bottle of wine and some caviar and a big fucking apology. Make sure she gets it _before_ she sees the email.”

**_‘Will do Boss.’_ **

“Tony, do you have a minute?” Steve’s voice comes at him and Tony has to prevent himself from launching off in a rather pointless tirade of ‘When the fuck did you go to law school or even just watched one episode of Law and Order you fucking moron? Stop pretending like you know anything about making laws, reading contracts or international affairs’.

Well, it wouldn’t be a pointless tirade, the only thing pointless would be how it would waste his time because it’ll go in one ear and out the other. He’ll save it for the team meeting on Friday, because right now he’s late and he doesn’t have the time to waste.

“Nope. Running out.”

“Tony please…we made dinner.” Steve tries again and Tony shakes his head.

“Got a dinner date already, and I’m running late.”

“A…dinner date?” Steve asks. “With Pepper?”

“No. With Strange.”

“Strange? Doctor Strange?” Steve’s voice sounds surprised and a little annoyed? Tony figures it doesn’t matter. If he has problems with the Sorcerer Supreme then he can take it up with Stephen because Tony’s not getting in the middle of that. “I didn’t know he was in town.” Steve says, keeping up with him.

“He is and I bribed him into listening to my proposal by offering to pay for dinner at that place downtown he likes. So I’m late for a recruitment meeting and I don’t have time to waste.”

“I’ll come with.”

“No.” Tony says, tugging the front door open and he sees Happy give him an exasperated look. “I know, I know!” Tony apologizes as he rushes down the stairs. “I told Strange it was between us. I’ll let you know at the meeting how it went.” Steve says something, or starts to, Tony’s not sure because he slides into the back seat of the car that Happy’s already holding the door open for and Happy closes it, cutting Steve off and hurriedly getting behind the wheel to drive off.

+++

“I deal in magic Stark.” Strange tells him as he twirls some noodles onto his fork. “Not really the area where the Avengers deal.”

“Not true.” Tony argues. “Look at Loki. We could have certainly used an assist with that and he’s still out there somewhere.”

“Loki is Asgardian and is therefore Thor’s problem.”

“Unless he attacks Earth again. You know that planet that all you Sorcerers are supposed to protect?” Tony sighs. “Plus, there’s the little problem of Maximoff.”

“She’s not magic.” Strange informs him and that does surprise Tony a little.

“She’s not? Are you sure?”

“They don’t call me the Sorcerer Supreme for nothing.” Strange replies with a smirk. “I checked. It’s just the power of the Mind Stone.”

“Oh. And here I was hoping you might take her off my hands.”

“Hoping to pawn her off on us?”

“If I could manage? Absolutely.” Tony takes a drink of his wine. “Not that I would call it ‘pawning off’ per say. More like, proper training in an area outside of my expertise.”

“Of course. Sounds better than pawning off.” Strange chuckles and Tony smiles.

“Doesn’t it?” He says. “But seriously Strange. Part time. I’m begging. We need you. We need all the help we can get. The Council has already agreed to your stipulations, what else is holding you back?”

“My duties as the Sorcerer Supreme come first.”

“We can easily agree to that.” Tony nods.

“And I’m not going to be present at every meeting.”

“We don’t actually have a lot of mandatory ones. Twice a month.”

“Once.” Strange says.

“Twice.” Tony repeats with a _look_ and Strange sighs.

“Very well. If it can’t be avoided.” He says and Tony smiles and holds up his wine glass.

“Welcome to the Avengers then, Doctor Strange.” He says and Strange shakes his head with an amused smile on his own face as he accepts the toast.

+++

 ** _‘Boss?’_** FRIDAY’s voice wakes him up and he pops his head up slightly from the pillows.

“Yeah?”

**_‘...Mr. Rogers is requesting admittance into the Penthouse.’_ **

“I’m not here.” Tony replies to that as he lays his head back down.

**_‘He’s…being rather obstinate.’_ **

“Then call Happy and get him out.” Tony mumbles into the pillow.

**_‘Will do Boss. Shall I make that a new method of dealing with Rogers at the door?’_ **

“Yeah. I’m not available – ever. To any of them.”

**_‘Protocols changed. Sleep well Boss.’_ **

+++

“Under no circumstances should we pair Maximoff with Jones.” Tony says with a shake of his head. “It won’t end well for either party.”

“We have to learn to work with each other.” Natasha’s arguing with him and Strange looks like he might tell the cloak around his neck to just start strangling him to get him out of this meeting and Tony feels similarly about it.

“Well I say no.” Jessica says, leaning back and crossing her arms. “So dealt with.”

“We should all be learning to work with one another.” Steve tries to tell her and she just gives him a look.

“She comes near me or one of mine with her little mind whammy stuff and the smear in the ground that I leave behind won’t be working with _anyone_.” Jess warns and Tony steps in before it can all break down.

“The Defenders are a secondary unit Rogers.” Tony tells him. “They’ll handle their own training.” He quickly breaks up the meeting before things can break down further due to the ex-Rogues belief that everyone should just roll over for them and that they’ve said ‘they’re sorry’ and therefore any pushback now is just hostile and is just being mean to them.

“Tony…I was hoping that we could get dinner. Talk about the new Accords amendments that you put up. I’ve got questions.” Steve says with that ever so hopeful look and Tony shakes his head.

“Sorry, I’m busy. If you need help understanding them call Ross. That’s what he’s there for.”

“Well I was hoping that you could explain it. You’d know it best.”

“Nope, busy.”

“Hey Tony.” Jess’s voice catches his attention and he looks over to where they’ve been talking. “Drinks at Josie’s tonight?”

“Sounds good.” Tony says before he looks at Steve. “I’m busy with that.”

“You just did that.”

“Sorry.” Tony says with a shrug as he turns and leaves.

+++

“What’s up with Star Spangled Banner?” Jess asks later when they’ve all commandeered a table at the seediest bar that Tony think’s he’s ever seen outside of a movie set. “He looks like something crawled up his ass and died.”

“That’s his normal state of being.” Tony says as he tosses back another shot and he’s impressed how quickly it gets refilled. They drink for a little bit longer and Tony shrugs. “I don’t know.” He says to Jess and she looks at him confused. “What his problem is. Maybe he wants a gold star and he thinks I can give it to him…but he’s an ass who is a fucking trap. Seriously Jess – it’s a trap. Don’t trust it. You’ll burn if you do and they’ll blame you for it even though they’re holding the matches.”

“That’s really poetic.” Jess says with a snort and Tony thinks that he hasn’t drank this much in far too long because she is definitely going to drink him under the table with how everything already has a haze to it.

“There’s nothing poetic about them.” Tony mumbles as he tosses back the shot. When did his glass get refilled? Is it full again? It’s like magic. “There’s nothing there but pain.”

He feels young again. Young and unburdened at one point in time in the night. He’s not too sure when they decided to leave Josie’s or why Foggy is so determined about this ‘Bluefin’ that he never got Matt to come with him to buy and Matt – ever the pushover when it comes to Foggy – drags them all along with him and Tony wonders how Jess is walking in a straight line and if Luke and Danny are already regretting agreeing to being the chaperones to a bunch of drunk superheroes out for a bluefin.

The street tacos they find once they’re denied their bluefin prize are like nirvana and ambrosia had a baby and coated it in sour cream because they are _fantastic_ and Tony doesn’t really care that this truck probably isn’t up to date on everything because they’re clearly doing the gods work, shelling out these fantastic things.

He thinks he remembers being slung over Jess’s shoulder at one point Or maybe it was Luke’s? No, Luke had Foggy…maybe? He doesn’t remember that fully. He does however remember waking up on the worst couch to ever exist and the hangover remedy that Luke makes them all choke down.

…there’s a moment where it feels like family. Like the day that Tony was always hoping for and waiting for with the Avengers way back when…

And that terrifies Tony more than he’d like to admit.

+++

“Come on Mr. Stark… _please_?” Peter’s begging with those puppy dog eyes of his and Tony’s got to get an armor specially made for that because he caves like a rookie.

“Fine.” Tony says. “But you will not move from my side. Promise me Peter.” The boy immediately holds up one hand in the air and the other over his heart like he’s pledging to something.

Tony doesn’t believe him in the slightest.

“I’ll be on my best behavior. Honest. I just want to meet her.” He says and Tony nods.

“Yeah. That’s what Harley said too.” He shakes his head. “If you two cause an international incident with the Princess of Wakanda you’re both going to be _so_ grounded.”

“We’ll be good!” Peter says with a giant grin. “Harley’s coming?”

“Yeah. He’ll be here in two hours. We’ll pick him up at the airport and take off from there. You’ll need permission this time from your aunt.”

“I already told her you agreed.” Peter says, pulling out his phone and handing it to Tony as it starts dialing May.

“You’re a schemer.” Tony whispers to him before he answers all of May’s questions about the sudden ‘young Avengers trip’ to Wakanda. “I’m going to regret this.” He says with a shake of his head.

Thankfully – T’Challa ends up in the same boat because the only thing more dangerous than trying to corral one teenage genius is trying to corral _three_.

+++

“You’ve been avoiding us.” Danny points out when Tony comes and takes a seat around the table at the Chinese restaurant that the Defenders have decided is their meeting place.

“Yeah. Sorry about that.” Tony says and the others just shrug it off.

“Nah, we get it.” Luke says. “Your last team were jerks. It’s hard to deal with that sometimes when you get into a similar situation.” They all hand the plates back and forth – except for when they go to pass by him and they put it down on the table next to him to grab and Tony thinks about how he mentioned the not being handed things once to Danny and how even after five years he couldn’t go a week without one of the old team forcing him to ‘get over it’ and how here all of them know and are not making a big deal out of it.

He thinks he might tear up a little but thankfully no one calls him out on it.

+++

“You have to get out of the Sanctum once in a while.” Tony tells Strange as they walk up the halls of the Compound. “It has to get boring. Meditating and looking at glass displays all day.”

“Is that what you think I do?” Strange asks with an amused smile.

“No. I also think you drink tea.” Tony says. “Maybe light some candles? Incense?”

“Exactly. See all that fun I have?” Strange pokes back at him and Tony chuckles.

“Oh yeah. I see it. You’re right. What was I ever thinking?” He nudges Strange with his arm. “Seriously. Bring Wong if you want but you have _got_ to get out.”

“Wong gets out more than I do.” Strange admits.

“See, even Wong understands that you need time away from there.”

“Wong’s not the guardian of the New York Sanctum. I am.”

“Then we won’t leave New York.” Tony says. “There, solved.”

“I would if I could, honestly, but I’m balancing out the foundations this weekend. It’ll be boring but my presence is required.” Tony drops it then but Strange looks at him so surprised when he shows up that Friday with the stuff in tow. “Tony?”

“So, since you can’t go to the movies, I brought them here with me. No reason for you to be bored out of your skull doing this ‘foundation’ thing.” Tony looks at him and then past him. “You going to invite me in?” Strange stares at him for a few moments before he smiles and nods, stepping aside.

+++

“Can’t you just take five minutes out of your ‘oh so busy schedule’ and hang out with us?” Barton asks and Tony gives him a look.

“Why?” He asks and it’s a legitimate question. “What for? To what end?”

“You weren’t a saint either Stark.” Barton throws back at him and Tony sighs.

“And with that I ask the questions again. Why? To what end and what for? It’s clear we’re not in a place to be rubbing each other in each other’s faces. Why bother then?”

“Because Steve’s been moping around like you took his puppy and I’m tired of it.”

“So this isn’t even about us?” Tony asks. “This isn’t about the team or about me or about Rhodey or about anything that happened. This is about Rogers. It’s always about Rogers.”

“It’s never about him. It’s always about you Stark.” Barton snaps. “Always breaking things and fucking us over and then acting like the wounded little flower afterwards. Grow the fuck up.”

“I am.” Tony says, shaking his head. “I’d suggest you try to do the same.”

+++

Bruce ‘returns’ with Thor and Loki and some new badass named going by the codename Valkyrie. It’s strange to see him again and he looks better. Less on edge and less tiptoeing around so that’s something to be said for that. Apparently he’s been trapped on an alien planet in some kind of gladiator game as the unbeaten champion.

Oh and him and Hulk have semi-figured out their problems.

Loki’s return though throws everything into chaos. Tony stands there and listens to the heated arguments being thrown out by Rogers’s camp and how Loki’s mind raping ways are just the height of evil and depravity and belong nowhere near the Avengers.

Tony thinks he might have laughed. Even just the softest, littlest of things because _really?_ Oh the irony.

Or maybe it’s not irony. Maybe it’s just true, willful blindness.

Tony looks at Loki and remembers the crazed look in the demi-god’s eyes as he grabbed him at the throat and tossed him out a window.

…he thinks of Thor’s hand at his throat as he dangled helplessly in front of his so called ‘family’.

“Tony…what have you done?” Steve whispers to him when he accepts Loki into the Avengers with the full backing of the Accords Council.

Tony doesn’t answer him. The lack of feeling like he needs to is freeing.

+++

“You fucking traitor.” Barton snarls at him, rage written on every line of his body and Tony doesn’t miss how there’s nothing but a lackadaisical feel to the others. Barton could take the swing he clearly is gearing up for and none of them intend to do anything about it.

Par for the course then.

“Is something wrong?” Strange asks, coming up when Tony was preparing to deal with this and Barton waves an arm at him.

“This doesn’t concern you.”

“If you have an issue with Loki’s approval into the team then it does. Considering that I was consulted and gave my approval of it long before it reached Tony desk.” Strange says and he stands firm next to Tony.

“You don’t understand.” Barton tries again. “He got in my head. How _dare_ you bring him here.”

“I’m under the impression that Miss Maximoff had done something similar and yet I see her standing behind you.” Strange says calmly. “So if ‘getting into one’s heads’ is not a good enough reason to prevent an ex-enemy agent from joining the Avengers Initiative then I’m curious what concern and issue you truly have with this situation.”

“It’s different.” Steve steps in, frowning at Strange and Strange shakes his head.

“It really isn’t.” He replies. “And this display insults us all. It is finished, Loki has been accepted as an Avenger. What do you truly wish to accomplish here?”

“We just want to talk.” Steve says, crossing his arms.

“No amount of talking about that situation is going to change the decision now. If you have concerns, speak with Councilmember Ross. Good day.” He makes a small gesture for Tony to come with him and Tony takes him up on it much to the annoyance of the ex-Rogues.

“Thanks for that.” Tony says and Stephen inclines his head to him.

“Anytime.”

+++

The nightmares return that night.

Red tinted horrors that make Tony claw at himself and scream till his own sore throat wakes him up.

FRIDAY’s frantic and Rhodey’s voice over the phone is soothing from when she called him and Tony curls up and sobs.

He’ll never be free. He’ll never make up for what he’s done. He’s a monster. He’ll never be anything else.

+++

“How are you feeling now?” Danny asks as Stephen lowers his hands and Tony nods with a shaky exhale.

“Better.” He says, now that the feeling of jitters and soul crushing defeat are no longer holding onto him. “Was it her?”

“Yes.” Stephen says with a soft, almost dangerous tone.

“Intentional?”

“I cannot say.” Stephen says. “I don’t know her control. I would say no if I had to guess, but that’s not enough to assure the Council for _certain_ that this was an intentional attack and not an accidental backlash of emotion from a stressful day.”

“…You’ve already talked to Ross about this, haven’t you?” Tony asks at the end of that sentence and Stephen nods.

“Right after you called and said what had happened and that you needed to be looked over.” Stephen explains with a sigh. “As it is…unfortunately this one she gets away with. No more than this, but she gets this one.”

“No more?”

“I have agreed to train her.” Stephen says. “If only to ensure that such ‘accidents’ don’t happen again. It’ll have the added bonus of letting me know how strong of a binding spell I would need to put on her should that need ever arise, so that’s something.”

“You don’t have to train her.” Tony tells him. “I know you didn’t want to.”

“I won’t have her skirting around in the blind spots attacking you.” Stephen replies to that and Danny nods.

“If he wasn’t going to, I was.” He tells Tony. “We’re a team and we don’t stand by while stuff like this happens to one of us.”

_The memory of Thor’s hand at his throat and the memory of how none of his ‘team’ responded rushes to the forefront._

“…Thank you.” Tony says and his voice catches slightly. Thankfully they don’t say anything about it.

+++

“It was an accident!” Steve’s voice catches Tony’s attention as he goes to walk past the training grounds and Tony frowns and heads inside. He stays hidden in the doorframe but he can see the ex-Rogues standing against Stephen.

“You cannot say that with any kind of assurance.” Stephen tells Steve and Steve shakes his head.

“I know Wanda. She wouldn’t do that.”

“From what I’ve seen, I’d argue she would very much do that. Frequently and as much as she believed she could get away with.” Stephen replies to that before he looks at Wanda. “So this is your warning since we both know it was not an accident. Do not touch Tony Stark’s mind again, or there will be consequences.”

“I cannot always control it.” Wanda says with just the right level of ‘little girl helplessness’ in her voice and Steve puffs up like her knight in shining armor.

“I suggest that you learn then. And quickly, or you will not have powers to use against him the next time.”

“Are you threatening her?” Barton snarls and Stephen just looks at him with a bored look.

“I’m laying out a cause to effect scenario. If she is so untrained that she assaults and terrorizes another, let alone another member of the team, then she has shown that she is not prepared to deal with the full scope of her abilities and they will be handled for her if she does not handle them herself.” Stephen says the whole phrase to Wanda and it’s clear that it’s a line drawn in the sand.

“…thank you.” Tony says later after he sneaks out of there and shows up at the Sanctum with pizza. “For helping out with Wanda.”

“Wanda’s luckier than she realizes.” Stephen says as he takes a slice. “We had to hold Jessica back in order to let me be the one to issue the warning.” Stephen munches for a moment before he looks at Tony. “I don’t know how broken things were before, I can guess from what I’ve seen but I doubt that even scratches the surface…but things are different now Tony. You’ve got people on your side.”

“…I’m starting to see that.” Tony says with a small smile and Stephen smiles back.

+++

“How are you doing Tony?” Steve asks and Tony wants to hit his head against his tablet. “After the whole accident?”

“I’m doing fine.” Tony says, turning to look at Steve. “What did you need Rogers?”

“I just wanted to check up on you.”

“Well you’ve done that. I’m fine. Have a good day.”

“Tony please, don’t be like that. I was worried.”

“You were worried?” Tony repeats, the words sticking to his tongue like a bad aftertaste. “You’ve never been worried _before_.”

“Wanda’s still learning Tony. You know that.”

“Then why is it only ever my mind?” Tony asks him and Steve pauses. “Shouldn’t she be accidentally knocking up old memories and nightmares for _anyone_ if she’s so untrained? Why was it only ever me?”

“You know it’s connected to her emotions. She’s still learning to forgive.”

“Forgive?” Tony snaps. “Forgive what? I’ve never done anything to her.”

“Tony, you know that’s not true.” Steve scolds lightly and Tony shakes his head.

“I never touched her family. I didn’t drop that bomb nor did I have any knowledge of it. So you can both go to hell. There’s nothing to forgive, I’m innocent.”

“I don’t want to fight Tony.”

“You also never want to admit your wrong so I don’t think there’s anything left for us to do but that these days Rogers.”

“If you talked to me. If you opened up and started to move past everything then we wouldn’t always be fighting.” Steve reaches out for him and Tony steps back like he has since they returned. Steve looks wounded by the action. “I don’t want to fight you Tony. I never did.”

“Then I’m impressed. I guess I’m a little horrified at what would have happened to me if you had wanted to.” Tony tells him. “As it is, I’m not interested in going down this road with you. We work together on the field just fine. Leave it at that.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Not everything’s about you.”

“Maybe you should listen to your own advice.” Steve throws back and Tony shakes his head with a huff.

“I’ve got to go.” He tells him and Steve rushes to move in front of him.

“No, no I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” He says quickly. “I just…I just want…can we start over?”

“Why?”

“Why not?” Steve pleads. “We were friends once, good friends…maybe…maybe we could figure out a way to get back there. Or somewhere close to there.”

“I don’t want to be your friend Steve.” Tony tells him. “I played that song and dance once before, got burned for it. I’m not getting back on that ride.”

“Please Tony. _Please_. Just…dinner? We can talk.”

“About what?”

“The weather? The Yankee scores? DUM-E’s latest shake creation? I don’t care, _anything_.” Steve says and Tony frowns.

“Why are you trying so hard? You never cared before.” Tony sees the look on Steve’s face like he wants to argue and at the same time he wants to cringe at the thought that Tony believes that. “You want something don’t you? What is it, just tell me already and if it’ll make you go away, I’ll put in an order for it.”

“I don’t have to want something from you to hang out with you.”

“You always did before.” Tony points out and Steve looks away, clenching his fist.

“Please just…let me take you out to dinner.” Steve eventually manages to say and Tony sighs.

“On one condition.”

“Anything.” Steve says immediately.

“I don’t see or hear from you or your little cult until the next meeting. I get two weeks of ‘Steve-Free’ existence if I do this.” Tony says and Steve’s face falls.

“If that’s what you want…okay.”

“Fine. Let me drop this off with Vision and then we’ll go.”

+++

“So I hear that Rhodes is returning next week.” Steve says, tearing off a piece of bread and munching on it and Tony nods.

“He’s done with his physical therapy and we’ve got him field ready again.”

“That’s good to hear.” Steve replies and Tony nods as an awkward atmosphere settles around them. “Will he be joining the Defenders?”

“No. He’s taking my place on the Avengers.” Tony says and Steve jolts and stares at him.

“What?”

“You didn’t know?” Tony asks and he figures he’s surprised with how often Steve’s talking to Ross behind his back. “I’m stepping back, going part time in order to focus more on training and recruitment. Spider-Man and Harley are going to require a lot more hands on approaches then they’ve been getting.”

“So you’re not going to be out in the field anymore?”

“Of course I am, just not as leader.” Tony says. “The Council is putting Rhodey up for it. You’ll appreciate him, or you should. He’s good at what he does.”

“He’s not you.”

“You never listened to me.”

“We’ve been listening Tony, you’re just avoiding us.” Steve says and Tony sighs.

“So we’re going to get into it now? Before our main course arrives?” Tony reaches out and grabs a roll. “Alright have at it.”

“We miss you Tony.” Steve says with that same earnestness. “We’ve been trying to mend these bridges but it’s like every wall we break down you’re building another ten.”

“Then that should be a hint.” Tony tells him. “Seriously Rogers, what did you think was going to happen? You walked back in with your head held high and what? I was going to just magically fall down for you to step all over again?”

“I _never_ stepped over you Tony.”

“You never did anything else.” Tony fires back and Steve just looks at him like he’s so hurt.

“Is that really what you think?”

“That’s what happened.” Tony replies. “What I think is irrelevant in the face of that.”

“I never stepped over you Tony. Not once.” Steve tries to tell him and he reaches out to place a hand over Tony’s on the table and Tony jerks his back. That same pained look is on Steve’s face when he does. “…I miss you Tony.”

“I don’t miss you.” Tony replies to that honestly. “I don’t miss how things were. I don’t ever want to be put in a situation where it’s like that ever again.” Tony looks Steve in the eyes. “I don’t miss you Steve. Honestly I don’t.”

Their main course arrives and brings with it more awkward attempts at ‘mending bridges’ from Steve and ‘deflecting said attempts’ from Tony. Tony’s not been more grateful to see the check arrive then that time he had to entertain both Ty Stone and Justin Hammer for a whole night.

In fact, he would have preferred to have to do that again over doing this ever again.

“So…goodnight Tony.” Steve says when they arrive back at the Compound and Tony walks inside with him. He needs to go get Vision’s response after all about what he gave him earlier or he would have just dropped Steve off and left.

“Goodnight Steve.” Tony say back and Steve has a moment where he does a strange sort of leaning into Tony’s space like he’s going to try and give him a hug or something and Tony recoils instantly. “I’ve got to see Vision.” Tony says afterwards in an attempt to cover up the visceral negative reaction, ignoring that pained look on Steve’s face again. “Remember, two weeks. You agreed.”

“Yeah…see you in two weeks.”

+++

The two weeks are practically heaven sent if Tony believed in such a place. The ex-Rogues avoid him in the halls and don’t try to poke at him in any way during that time. It’s almost worth the absolutely obnoxious dinner payment that he had to do with Steve.

Heck, he might even allow a dinner every two weeks if it means that he doesn’t have to deal with them in the in-between.

…Okay, no. He’s not going to do that, but it’s a nice thought.

Unfortunately, the two weeks end on an Avengers event. An entire night of schmoozing and pretending that everything is fine so that politicians are put at ease and the checkbooks are open for the charities and everyone’s able to pretend to get along.

Which _of course_ means that Steve doesn’t leave his side for a fucking second. The blond is ever present in each group Tony maneuvers around to. He’s constantly talking alongside Tony and touching him on the arm, or on the lower back or just acting like everything is peachy-keen and Tony’s going to either pull out all his hair or murder Rogers in front of everyone.

“Stephen.” Tony says, seeing the Sorcerer Supreme make his way through the crowd and he’s pleased when the other comes right over. “I didn’t know you were going to be able to make it. Danny said that you had some sort of thing happen at the Sanctum?”

“An old…friend of mine stopped by.” Stephen says. “It’s handled now.” He looks at Steve. “Rogers.”

“Strange.” Steve greets back and Tony frowns at the two of them.

“Stark.” He says and they look at him. “I was feeling left out.” He says in response. “Nice tux.”

“I know a thing or two about charity functions.” Stephen says with a grin and Tony smiles back.

“I remember. You pawned me a few times.” He says and Stephen shrugs with a ‘who me?’ motion.

“Well we should get back to it Tony.” Steve says, putting a hand at Tony’s back to lead him away and Stephen holds out a hand.

“Actually, I was hoping to steal you away.”

“It’s not stealing if they go willingly.” Tony says to that as he reaches out and takes Stephen’s hand, letting him wrap Tony’s arm around his with it. They walk off and Tony waits till they’re out of earshot of Steve. “Oh dear sweet science – _thank you_.”

“You looked like you needed a rescue.”

“I am forever in your debt.” Tony throws back. They make the rounds for a while, Danny joining them at one point and Luke stepping in at another. Jess and Matt are unavailable due to their ‘secret identities’ but Colleen is an ace at playing the ‘arm candy’ role that Natasha usually – and is probably doing somewhere in the room – plays and she’s owning it. Tony almost wants to clap.

The rest of the night goes by pretty quickly. He jumps from group to group, he jokes and laughs with the Defenders and Stephen. He avoids the Avengers whenever he can, which makes the whole night better even though Steve and the others seem to be always in his peripheral.

Granted…that statements true much later when Stephen and Tony stumble into one of the side rooms out of sight practically molding together. It’s been a while since Tony’s snuck off to make out – definitely pre-Iron Man days and normally the person that he’s used to catching a glimpse over his chosen partners shoulder is Pepper or Happy –

Certainly not Rogers.

Or Barton.

Or Maximoff.

Or Romanov.

Or Wilson.

Dear sweet science.

+++

“Well that was an interesting way for tonight to play out.” Stephen says and he has the gall to sound like he’s trying not to choke on laughter and Tony gives him a glare that quickly loses its heat as he thinks about it and he finds himself smiling too.

“God that was the worst.” Tony says, rubbing a hand over his face. “The absolute worst.”

“I thought it was rather entertaining.” Stephen replies, taking a drink of the bottle of champagne they swapped on their way out of the event. Tony wonders what they look like, if anyone in New York is even paying attention to the two men sitting on the park bench in tuxes. He turns and looks at Stephen before he reaches over and takes the bottle out of his hand, pulling him down into a kiss full of any kind of promise Stephen wants.

“Wanna go somewhere where we’re not going to have an audience?”

“My place or yours?”

“Mine has room service.”

“Yours wins.”

+++

Tony sighs when he hears the door open behind him and FRIDAY puts up a note on his tablet saying **_Rogers_**.

“Can I help you?” He asks and there’s nothing but silence behind him and Tony eventually turns around to look at him. He’s leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed and he’s looking at Tony like Tony’s disappointed him somehow. “What do you want?” Tony finds himself asking.

“I just…I guess I wanted to talk to you about last night.”

“I think last night’s none of your business if you want to talk about the part that I think you want to talk about.” Tony tells him. “I don’t kiss and tell.” He pauses. “Actually, now that I think about it, what the hell were you even doing in that room?”

“Looking for you.” Steve says. “I didn’t expect to find you with…” He looks away.

“Why were you looking for me? The whole lot of you?”

“There was a death threat.” Steve replies. “Against you, and suddenly you were gone. You can imagine what we thought.”

“A death threat? Did you ever track that down?”

“Danny and Colleen caught the guy.” Steve says with a nod. “Some guy that Stark Industries just bought out.”

“Huh. Not the most original reason why people have tried to off me. It’s annoying, I don’t usually deal with mergers. Even less these days unless it’s a big one.”

“You shouldn’t have been…doing _that_ …not during an Avengers event.”

“It’s none of your business.” Tony retorts to that. “And the event was pretty much over. No one saw us. It’s fine.”

“Tony-”

“It’s fine and it’s not something we’re going to talk about.” Tony cuts him off. “I don’t know why you’re here about this. I’m an adult and if I want to put my tongue down someone’s throat and they’re on the same page with me about it, then I’m going to do it.”  

“Since when are you and Strange…doing…you know…that.” Steve says with a helpless hand gesture.

“I’m pretty sure I said that we were _not_ going to talk about Stephen and I.”

“There’s a ‘Stephen and you’?” Steve says and it sounds torn from him and Tony sighs and rubs his temples.

“Yes. There is a Stephen and I. You know what there’s not? A Steve and I. A Steve and I _anything_ really. I’ve told you I’m not interested in going down this path with you. We’re not friends Steve.”

“I see.” Steve says in a soft tone. “…I still want to try and start over.”

“I don’t. I haven’t changed my mind about that.”

“Maybe time will do that.” Steve says. “I can wait.” Steve comes over and looks down at Tony with that earnest look in his eyes. “I’ll wait.” He seems to promise before he nods to himself and he walks out of the room.

“What the actual fuck?” Tony mutters to himself before he shakes his head and goes back to preparing for the meeting.

He does not have the time for whatever the fuck that was.

+++

The bar at Josie’s is covered in tacky red and green lights and tinsel everywhere and there’s this kind of horrible screeching from the jukebox that Tony’s not a hundred percent sure if he should ask Stephen if it’s secretly consorting with a demon or something. The reindeer headband on his head slides a little and he pushes it up with his wrist as he brings the ‘Josie Approved Seasons Cheer’ over to the table where the rest of his friends are waiting.

Jess is the only one not wearing some kind of Christmas headgear but the horrible and tacky ugly Christmas sweater that Luke and Claire managed to talk her into is brilliant and totally beats all of their ugly sweaters by a landslide. Tony thinks he might need to be drunk to even try to start to figure out what on earth is going on with it.

He loves it. It’s the best.

He gets cheers when he arrives with the drinks and they all toast each other. Tony leans against Stephen’s side as he listens to the competition going on between Carol and Rhodey about the ‘worst basic story ever’ before everyone starts telling horrible ‘this seriously happened to me’ tales. It’s only so long before the dreaded statement is said – of course by Karen who shushes both Matt and Frank as they argue against her.

They’re going caroling.

This is going to end up on the front page, and not for a good reason. The drunk Avengers go Christmas caroling.

…Of course Tony’s in.

**Author's Note:**

> And they all lived happily ever after. The end. 
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment or kudo but please no comments of a critiquing or negative nature. Thank you for your understanding.


End file.
